Ramblings of a befuddled & puzzled soul

November 21- News

2007-11-21T11:42:00.000-08:00

Hello there, today is pizza day in US. If eating turkey is a traditional thanksgiving meal, then eating pizza is a traditional before thanksgiving meal. According to a news channel, pizza sales grow from 34% to 200% on this particular day. Eating pizza is supposed to be a warm-up or a stretching kind of thing for thanks giving turkey!

Thanksgiving air traffic has seen 4% rise compared to last year, despite the fact that
24% of them arrived late. According to ATA, estimated 2.5 million people will be traveling on Wednesday before thanks giving. 27 million is the total estimation of the passengers through out the holiday season in November.That's huge!

iPhone goes contract free in Germany. Cool isn't it? No, not so fast. T-mobile, who was official carrier for iphone and lost its case to Vodafone, is offering this contract-free iphone for 999Euros(1500$). This is pretty disappointing. Will this be a good news to iphone customers? I seriously doubt it. At such a huge price, it is certainly out of reach for most of the population. I hope apple gives it a serious thought and come up with some reasonable price.

Google's "I'am feeling lucky" button is being analyzed if it is really lucky for its business. This button usually takes a user directly to a web site instead on giving its user a list of choice. For example, if you type "Pizza" in the google search space and click "I am feeling lucky" button, then it will take you directly to Pizza hut home page. According to
MarketPlace, around 1% of the total google searches are performed using this button. Even though this number seems low, according to Tom Chavez in the article, it is bringing 110 million dollar loss to the company annually. This is becuase, when a user uses this button it will take him directly to a web page and he will not see any google ads which are the revenue makers for this search engine giant. Some people even think that this button is there just to show-off the power of google. Google will be carrying this button, looks like it is feeling lucky about it!

Telugu film actress Arti agarwal got married to one Ujwal Kumar(US techie). Like most of the celebrities in AP, she successfully performed the tradition of beating up Reporters, with the help of her family members. Now family members got arrested. I don't know the inner details of this scoop, but I feel if some celebrity says I need privacy press should respect that. If not this will happen!

Stage set in Firoze shah Kotla stadium for the first test match between India and Pakistan on Thursday November 22nd. Kumble will be the captain for team India. A lot of expectations are on the senior team which includes the likes of Sachin Tendulkar, Rahul Dravid, Sourav Ganguly, V.V.S. Laxman and Anil Kumble. The Pace duo RP Singh and Sreeshant are out of the series, and Yuvraj Singh on bench. I have always been a big fan of Kumble. This guy can do some serious damage with his leg spin. Hope India will perform to its potential and win this series! Good Luck team!

Well Guys.. Happy Holidays!!

Aquisitions

2007-11-20T09:55:00.001-08:00

Every time I hear this term, knowingly or unknowingly I think about that for a moment. Lately I have been hearing this term every day. The latest trend in the IT market is to set up a start up, gain some user base and advertise its potential to some big players in the market and merge with one of them. Is it good or bad? Well it has two sides of argument, good because it will be integrated with a large suite, more money for development and more marketing. Bad because of layoffs, dominance of few market players and loss of product individuality. Whatever may be the effect, acquisitions keep happening. One of the interesting thing about acquisitions is that they keep me guessing about how a company is planning its growth. For example Google, this one has a wide variety of acquisitions. It has acquired many firms which have products varying from social networking portal in mobiles to wireless softwares to video conferencing to network file sharing to online office softwares. It has a very good strategic approach in its acquisitions unlike others. For example eBAY, which acquired Skype few months back. I was perplexed by this aquisition, basic question: why would a bidding site needs a VOIP product? I thought it was a bad move, and now we have news indicating that ebay overpaid for Skype and it has been under-performing after the acquisition. There are few rumors now that Google is planning to take over Skype from eBay. This move by Google(if true) makes perfect sense because of the open handset alliance initiation by google, and Skype VOIP mobile system fits this model perfectly.

Now here are some big acquisitions that happened in the recent past, which opened up so many questions to think about.

SAP taking over Business Objects, Yup the ERP giant is sleeving up to take over BI giant. Many say this might be a result of
Oracle taking over Hyperion early this year and I think they have a point. Oracle with its strategic acquisitions like that of people-soft was already poising a threat to SAP's business. With the addition on Hyperion now it has entered the BI arena, only to make its suite even more powerful. SAP has a pretty good customer base in the Enterprise applications, now BO will give it an opportunity to explore data warehousing and BI arena. Is this good or bad? It really depends on what SAP does with BO. Right now it stated that BO will be a separate entity. If it continues to keep it like that, its good. But if SAP tries to integrate BO into its exisiting software to give its customers more functionality, then there is a good chance of loosing BO's customer base. SAP may also invest in enhancing existing BO tool. We need to wait and see what will its approach be! What are other players in the BI world doing? Well they are doing their own strategic acquisitions, to protect their position in market. IBM took over another BI giant Cognos, to enhance its information on demand suite. As the article indicates, it has already done many such acquisitions and Cognos only adds strength to its ideas. Also SAS takes over Netezza, Informatica takes over composite software, etc. Tough competition going on there in BI market.

Coming to other areas, Google acquires a Jaiku, a so-called micro-blogging website. According to google blog, this will help people to stay in touch with their loved ones either from a computer or from mobile. Where will google use this application is still to be answered, after all google want to do everything. Web search, images, videos, mobiles, office, maps and its money maker ads. So, at least for me, its difficult to see where will it use this particular technology!!

Cisco adds securent, a policy management software firm. According to eWeek, The acquisition brings to Cisco technology that allows customers to administer, audit and enforce access policies to a wide range of applications, data and infrastructure. eBAY acquires an online sales tool called Afterbuy.com. This on-line tool can be used for inventory management and pre-sales management. Hopefully this acquisition will not turn out like Skype.

So, acquisitions can bring a company good business or kill the same. How strategic a company is in its acquisitions depends on the fields that a company wants to grow. Acquisitions continue to happen because no one wants to reinvent a wheel!

Android - will it kick iphone's apps?

2007-11-14T13:54:00.000-08:00

There were many speculations about the so-called "G-Phone" in last few months. Google finally came out of its shell and yet again proved its dominance. Every product from Google is a revolution in itself. Search engine has completely integrated in our lives, likewise its maps application and even Orkut. For this very reason, I am very excited about its products. I personally use google search a zillion times every day, chat with my friends on gtalk, interact with them via Orkut and use google maps to get my directions. Many people don't even realize that they use google so intensively for their day to day activities. I am definitely looking forward for the Google Mobile. The coolest thing about this phone is that one can write their own application and use it. If you can spend time understanding Android Platform(the Google-initiated, Linux-based open source mobile operating system) and have a programming back ground, then you are the boss of your phone. What if you don't have a programming back ground? well, there are always communities for you. Soon there will be a large Android community, who will develop many applications. Open source community is huge and for Android it is called Open Handset Alliance. And in no case this is an advertisement for Google's mobile. I know when they get to the advertisements part, trust me they will do much better than this.

Here is a sneek peek of what Android platform has to offer:

Well for those of you who are interested to develop something for Android, here is a video showing basics of Android coding. Now, here is the best part. Google announced a $10 Million developer challenge. Prize price ranges from $25000 to $275,000. According to google, the first phase of the competition runs from January 2nd through March 3rd, 2008 and the second phase will take place in the second half of 2008.

This Video below gives you a basic idea of "how to program Android". Google has already developed many API's that you can use directly. For more details please visit Android home page.

Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?

2007-11-09T13:40:00.000-08:00

A simple question sometime will make people think things in a completely different way. I found this article on a blog. Author uses simple questions and a simple scenario to make his point. A kid asking his dad, why us attacked Iraq. I am not here judging whether US did a right thing or a terrible thing going to war on Iraq. No thats not my idea. Its their money and they can spend it any which way they want. Well, just read this article and you will know my point. [http://www.geocities.com/anarchiebunker/foreignpolicy.htm - original post]

Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?

A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction.

Q: But the inspectors didn't find any weapons of mass destruction.

A: That's because the Iraqis were hiding them.

Q: And that's why we invaded Iraq?

A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn't find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?

A: That's because the weapons are so well hidden. Don't worry, we'll find something, probably right before the 2004 election.

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?

A: To use them in a war, silly.

Q: I'm confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn't they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?

A: Well, obviously they didn't want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

Q: That doesn't make sense. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons with which they could have fought back?

A: It's a different culture. It's not supposed to make sense.

Q: I don't know about you, but I don't think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.

A: Well, you know, it doesn't matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

Q: And what was that?

A: Even if Iraq didn't have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?

A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?

A: Don’t go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it’s a good country, even if that country tortures people?

A: Right.

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?

A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Isn’t that exactly what happens in China?

A: I told you, China is different.

Q: What’s the difference between China and Iraq?

A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba’ath party, while China is Communist.

Q: Didn’t you once tell me Communists were bad?

A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?

A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

Q: Like in Iraq?

A: Exactly.

Q: And like in China, too?

A: I told you, China’s a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

Q: How come Cuba isn’t a good economic competitor?

A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn’t that help the Cubans become capitalists?

A: Don’t be a smart-ass.

Q: I didn’t think I was being one.

A: Well, anyway, they also don’t have freedom of religion in Cuba.

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?

A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he’s not really a legitimate leader anyway.

Q: What’s a military coup?

A: That’s when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

Q: Didn’t the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?

A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?

A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

Q: Didn’t you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?

A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?

A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?

A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men – fifteen of them Saudi Arabians – hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings in New York and Washington, killing 3,000 innocent people.

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?

A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

Q: Aren’t the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people’s heads and hands?

A: Yes, that’s exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people’s heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

Q: Didn’t the Bush administration give the Taliban 43 million dollars back in May of 2001?

A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

Q: Fighting drugs?

A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

Q: How did they do such a good job?

A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people’s heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people’s heads and hands off for other reasons?

A: Yes. It’s OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people’s hands for growing flowers, but it’s cruel if they cut off people’s hands for stealing bread.

Q: Don’t they also cut off people’s hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?

A: That’s different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

Q: Don’t Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?

A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

Q: What’s the difference?

A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman’s body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman’s body except for her eyes and fingers.

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.

A: Now, don’t go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.

A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

Q: Who trained them?

A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?

A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.

A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?

A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

Q: So the Soviets – I mean, the Russians – are now our friends?

A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we’re mad at them now. We’re also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn’t help us invade Iraq either.

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?

A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn’t do what we want them to do?

A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

Q: But wasn’t Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?

A: Well, yeah. For a while.

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?

A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

Q: Why did that make him our friend?

A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

Q: Isn’t that when he gassed the Kurds?

A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?

A: Most of the time, yes.

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?

A: Sometimes that’s true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

Q: Why?

A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America’s side, anyone who opposes war is a godless unAmerican Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?

A: Yes.

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?

A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

Q: So basically, what you’re saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?

A. Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

Q: Good night, Daddy.

Funny interviews!

2007-11-05T13:24:00.000-08:00

Cyrus Broacha - also known as "Raja Of Rubbish" among his inner circle is one of my favorite comedian celebrity. I grew up watching his shows like Bakra, Baap of Bakra, Dada of Bakra and all those members of Bakra family along with Fully-faltoo on MTV.
Even today when I see his name against any article or a video, I see them. I found this video on IBN CNN, which is doing a show called "The week that wasn't" with Cyrus. Have fun watching a small episodes of his show.

Cyrus takes on vengsarkar

Cyrus interrogation

I THINK OF YOU

2007-10-30T15:05:00.000-07:00

I THINK OF YOU,
WHENEVER I SEE MYSELF IN THE MIRROR,
WHENEVER I SEE STARS IN THE SKY,
WHENEVER I PRAY ALMIGHTY
WHENEVER I SEE A CHILD SMILING
WHENEVER I SEE A FLOWER BLOSSOMING
WHENEVER I HEAR BIRDS SINGING
WHENEVER I SLEEP DREAMING
WHATEVER STATE I AM IN
WHENEVER I BREATH
I THINK OF U.

Secret characteristic!

2007-10-30T09:00:00.000-07:00

We live in a world with diversity integrated in every part of it. We have people with different ethnicities, colors, creed, race, facial hair and dumbness. Even people follow different religions, have varied beliefs. But if you look closely there are some things that every human being does. I bet some animals also do them. Of course there are some obvious things like eating, fighting and hating paris hilton. But there is one hidden characteristic in every human that acts like a fevicol between a human and other humans, aliens, dogs, cats and film stars. It has the power to turn enemies to friends and Allu Arjun to gay! In the 5th edition of rocks, grass and dinosaurs written by the early man named two stars and a stick, on a mountain in present day sahara desert it is clearly stated that this incredible characteristic of humans is called "Gossip". It is like telugu lyrics of a.r.rahman's tamil song, tune will be same as the original, but no one understands the meaning. For example, Bipasha's boy friend is John Abraham is the news and gossip form of this news can be any of these and many more: Bipasha has a secret relation with John; Bipasha proved last week that she is not straight when she was seen last night with a tall lady with long hair and a T-shirt, she was calling her john; A bengali heroine is deeply in love with a model turned actor, she was last seen in Dhoom-2 in a bikini and the guy was replaced by Hrithik in the same movie, etc.

Being an expert in the primitive arts of gossiping I can tell you right away some of the advantages of gossiping, like you don't have to know about the news to talk about it. That way you can participate in any form and kind of discussion, you can come up with your own imaginative stories about the topic. I once came up with this story about earth being round and every one believed. It is a well-known fact that women love gossiping 0.0001% more than men.
So gossiping can help men to break the ice and score good with ladies. With my skills, I not only break the ice but also manage to break her sandal on my face each and every time.
Gossiping also helps cure some diseases like jealousy and insomnia. This is a proven scientific fact in the subject of gossipology. If you are jealous about some one then that can lead to depression, sleeplessness, hatred and an urge to watch Balakrishna movies. But you can cure all these with gossip. You can talk bad about that person in public and tell it is gossip and you heard it from someone. Now you have your revenge and you get good sleep! Gossiping make people forget about some bigger problems in the world. This is the biggest advantage. For example, Srija's marriage has taken precedence over the unstable stock market, iraq war, bomb threats and even daily serials. This incident gave people something to talk about, something to think about like how did she get married, where did she go, who helped her etc. Now they don't have to worry about rising fuel prices, pollution etc all they have to worry about is whether Chiranjeevi accepts Srija or not. You can also make money writing about gossips. If you don't believe me go to greatandhra.com and read. In a couple of days, I bet you will start gossiping. And the list is endless.

I did an intense study with my elite group of gossipers about how gossip started. After 15 minutes of intense brain storming and reading many sign-boards on the road, we finally discovered the birth of gossiping. Long long ago, when there was no lip-stick and britney spears,
there lived 2 early man and 2 early woman or I can say 2 early couples. One day both couples went to a movie. There one early man got exited and whistled. The other early couple didn't like that and they talked about how indecent that early man was. After a few days a third couple moved in the town and the couple went to them and gossiped on how the other couple was indecent. This is how first gossip started.

From MJ's nose to Dhoni's hair-cut to Blair touching Bush's hand, every damn thing is a gossip. Be a gossiper, but don't be a subject of a gossip. That is as dumb as imitating tushar kapoor.

End of world!!

2007-10-17T08:15:00.000-07:00

This weekend was fun. I saw three movies back to back. Usually the count goes to five! But I restricted my self to watch only three this time, so that I could do something fun in my life. Something good, something meaningful. And I did. I watched TV and I made sure that I was not watching a movie on TV. So there you go, I started gaining some discipline in my life.

TV is the best source of entertainment and exercise for people. Those who don't watch TV and instead go out and work-out are called "loosers"! We who spend days and nights before TV and empty bags of potato chips before it are called "Couch Potatos", which in algerian tribe language means "Saints". Recent studies have shown that a normal human burns 0.4 calories everytime he lifts his remote and presses it. I do it atleast 1000 times on a typical saturday. so I am burning 400 calories just by sitting and watching TV. It is equivalent to running 4 miles and walking 8 miles. The big list of advantages don't stop there. You get to know many things about this world like egypt has pyramids, you can order a pizza either by calling them or online, Paris is in Europe somewhere near France, african female chimps like ravi teja and many more. People who dont watch TV wont know all these things, thats why they are loosers.

I was watching a program on domestic pigs in east africa on the animal planet. It reminded me of a movie called "Babe" on pigs. My mind, as usual, drifted from Babe to babes to bay watch to Sea to Titanic to Kate Winslet to Ice berg to glaciers to global warming to end of the world! Suddenly it started thinking about End of the world, questions started popping up- why was I not the lead actor in bay watch, why was the film tomb rider not banned, how will this world end! Since it requires godly powers to answer the first two, I was stuck with the third one. I decided to get an answer to that, with utmost dedication, hard work and immense research. I began my research, many people call it Sleeping. I have a special gift of fore-seeing future. When I sleep I see visions and there is 0.002% of chance for that vision to become true. My psychiatrist calls it a Dream.
Classic example is the 2001 sept 11th WTC blasts. I saw JrNtr dancing with Jayalalitha and Sonia Gandhi in my dream. That was not normal, that was ghastly, freaky. I got up scared and I was drenched in sweat that night and couldn't sleep for next 50 seconds. Thats when I realized that something worst is going to happen to the world and it happened. So I used my special gift to come up with an answer on how this world would end!

After a serious 13 hrs of research, I realized that I didn't turn-off my alarm. I hate to get up on sundays, they are for sleeping. Anyways back to my research. I found that there are three possible ways by which this world could end:

1) A telugu dubbed tamil movie
2) A rumour
3) A britney Spears concert in Winter

Let me explain how:

I saw in my vision, a man. A man frustrated by his boss and tormented by his wife. He want to get a break from his life. He want to enjoy his life for 2hrs 23 minutes. He thought of seeing a movie. Because of population explosion, he couldn't get a ticket to any good movie. At this very moment, he decided to do something which would change the world forever. He decides to see a telugu dubbed tamil movie. All the time he was in theater, he thought that his boss and wife are like angels compared to that movie. That movie robbed him emotionally and mentally.He came home, slammed the door and ended his life. When he slams the door, there is a lizard on the wall which lost its tail because of the slamming. It called for a lizard hunger strike until the man comes and apologizes to it. The man is already dead. This lead to a massive increase in insect population. They ate all the crops. Hunger everywhere, chaos starts. India attacks nepal for food, Nepal fires its only missile and it misses target and hits pakistan. Pakistan thinks its an indian missile and attacks india. Then world war begins, nuclear holocaust everywhere. End of the world!!

Or, A rumour can end this world. I saw in my vision that an iraqi comes to hyderabad for higher education. There he meets a guy called Sattibabu, king of rumours. Sattibabu tells iraqi that irani chai was called iraqi chai when it was invented. But an irani king attacked iraq and stole the recipe. He also changed the name to irani chai. iraqi goes back to iraq and tells this story to everyone. An irani spy in iraq hears this story. He runs to iran to tell this to his people. He runs 32.245 miles, and names it irani marathon. The prime minister hears the story and orders to attack iraq. iraq fires back. Then world war begins, nuclear holocaust everywhere. End of the world!!

Or, A britney spears concert can End the world. After a long time, when everyone thinks Britney is gone, no more of her singing, no more suicides seeing her dance, suddenly Britney announces a comeback. This time not just Britney, but a britney with no hair and a white beard.
She gains 30 pounds. No one buys tickets to her concert, but she makes a deal with US govt. If US govt can bring her some audience, then she will give a concert in Russia and Iran. US govt brought Jail inmates to the concert. They were told that it was free food day. poor guys dont know what's going to happen to them. Then the concert begins, inmates run for their life. But they are locked. Britney is in a security cover, so they cant kill her. With such frustration, they start to kill each other and turn into Zombies. They roam all over the world and turn everyone into Zombies and thats my friend is the end of the World!

So no more secrets about the dooms day. Don't do any of the above three and you will be safe.
Its time to do some research on "Flu in flies". zzzzzzz....

India lost 5th ODI! why?

2007-10-12T09:39:00.000-07:00

Being an ardent fan of cricket, and APSEB which managed to cut the power everytime exactly in the last over of a nail-biting match, I wanted to do something for cricket world. Seeing my abilities as a cricketer, people never really allowed me to touch anything related to cricket. Political games. C'mon Every body has a learning curve. And in my case, 17 years seems fairly reasonable. I was trying to understand two things in cricket all these years, how can someone swing his bat and hit a ball at the same time and how is it even possible to run, jump and throw the ball at the same time? Crazy! I am still amazed at people who can do that. Well except batting, bowling and ofcourse fielding which I dont like to do for obvious reasons, I was starting to gain expertise in every other field. But people really didn't give me a chance to prove my talents. Damn you gully cricketers.

After trying this and that, I finally decided to join the secret cult of cricket fans which is mainly a group of cricket retards, who thought they could do better than any cricketer! This group has a name, ************* **** ********** ****. Remember!!! this is a secret cult and I could get banned for revealing its identity. Anyways, there are some strict eligibility rules to become a member of international crap cricketers club(ICCC). Here are some:
1) Should have umpired atleast 2 matches in world cup for 2 year olds.
2) Should be better than sreeshant in appealing.
3) Should look better than Abhay Kuruvilla.
and the toughest one
4) Should be able to tell the difference between eesha deol and Micheal Jackson!

After 2 years of serious preparation, I was awarded the eligibility and membership to the club. I was in the top 5 eligible candidates for the yeat, satisfying 3 out of the 4 rules( I failed to answer the 4th one)! I was appointed as a secret agent for the group, whose job is to find out why India lost and why Tushar Kapoor acts as if he knows acting. My code name is Games Blond 006.5432134554.

So why india lost in the recent India vs australia(5th ODI) match!! A 66rs question. Well it was a 66 million dollar question for the first loss, but since India lost so many times, the value of the question has come down drastically to 66RS. i am just waiting for the day when there is no value to the question. When no one has to waste their time and money answering this question anymore, when there will be peace in Mayanmar again and when MJ stops surgeries to his face. Well, for now here is the reason.

As a secret agent, I need to work with my informers all the time. This time it was the floor cleaner Sakkubai, alias agent Detergent! She revealed some useful information which could lead us to the answer. Apparently there was some argument between Ganguly and Dravid about who invented "Shunya", which is also called Zero and where is he from. Both agreed that, Zero was invented by Aryabhatta. But then both of them were fighting on where he belonged to? Ganguly argued that Aryabhatta was from Bengal, and bhatta was one of the first person in the Ganguly family. He claimed that Zero was a private property of the Ganguly's for years and even now they keep the tradition of getting zero where ever they can. Thats the reason, Ganguly's report cards and score boards are filled with them!! Dravid was not agreeing to this, he claimed Aryabhatta was from Karnataka because his Mathematics teacher's name was R.Y.Bhatt and he always talked about how he would get zeros if he didn't study. Both of them were adament, and their desire to prove their points grew like fire. To prove their point, Ganguly decided to show his love towards zero and Dravid decided to copy whatever Ganguly does. So thats how both of them ended with 0's on score boards.

Coming to rest of the team, Tendulkar hated mathematics right from the childhood and he was sure that Aryabhatta was not from Mumbai, as he doesn't have a kar at the end. So he played cricket as usual, not knowing how much to make. Murli karthik always was an admirer of Ganguly. He sincerely followed Ganguly's score to show his fanaticism. Rest of the team were youngsters who decided to go to RGV ki AAG this friday. So they decided to pitch in money for that movie, but they had differences on how much. Then coach Venkatesh prasad solved this dispute by suggesting that who ever scores highest will pay for the movie. That explains why everyone was so competitive for not scoring runs. Dhoni and Zaheer were desperately trying to get out, but Aussies knew their plan and were trying to make them see that movie, so that they can win next 2 matches easily. Most of the bowlers in the team were graduates of my prestigious club ICCC. So they tried their best to keep the ball with in 1 km radius of the stumps. Poor aussies had no choice but to hit the ball.

So, thats the reason for the loss! Well, who cares for the loss anyways. We lifted the 20-20 cup and also Noida Gully cricket association cup(actually, a broom stick thrown by neighbouring aunty). Thats enough for the next 15 years. So my job is done here!!! Oh yea, the Tushar Kapoor thing, I heard from some one that he is natures secret weapon to fight evil!!! Over 1 Indian gets red-eye seeing his movies every year!! Njoy ur Weekend folks!

SWATHI MUTYAM - Telugu title English poem

2007-10-11T15:00:00.001-07:00

HEARD THIS STORY FROM SOMEONE,
THAT DEEP BELOW THE OCEAN
THERE EXISTS ANOTHER WORLD
WHERE THERE IS NO SILVER,NO GOLD.
FLOATING IN WATERS THAT NEVER DRAIN
WAITING IS THE OYSTER, FOR THE RAIN.
ALWAYS IN WATER ,BUT STILL, THIRST
CAN ONLY BE QUENCHED BY THE FIRST DROP OF RAIN.
HIS SHELL SO STRONG AND BRIGHT IN LOOM
LOOKS LIKE A DRESSED UP BRIDEGROOM.
WITH OPEN ARMS, LOOKING AT THE SKY
TO GRAB HIS LOVE,WITHOUT ANY DELAY.
THERE COMES THE RAIN,HERE COMES MY LOVE
HIS HEART FLEW AROUND ,LIKE A BEAUTIFUL DOVE.
THUNDER BOLTS, FROM THE CLOUDS ABOVE THE HILLS
THEY WERE HIS WEDDING BELLS.
HE COULD SEE HER COMING DOWN
LIKE A BEAUTIFUL BRIDE IN A PRETTY GOWN.
SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL WITH ALL HER CHARMS
HE READILY TOOK HER INTO HIS ARMS.
SO HAPPY,SO DELIGHTED WAS HE
FILLED UP THE JOY IN THE WHOLE SEA.
OH!HOW LUCKY SHE IS,THE GIRL!
WITH HIS LOVE,NOW SHE IS ,A PEARL!
FEELING SO DEEP,BOND SO STRONG
THEY LIVED UNITED,OH! SO LONG.
LOVE HAS BROUGHT THEM WELL DESERVED GLORY,
HEARD FROM SOMEONE, THIS BEAUTIFUL STORY!!

Here we go..!

2007-10-10T10:26:00.000-07:00

So here I am, writing my first blog. After reading hundreds of blogs, I realized that blogs are nothing but a dump of people's crappy feelings on the web! But still I find them fun. Why? It might be because of the nuclear explosion in Japan in 1945 or because I was among the fortunate group of people who saw Johny film first day-first show. Who knows! Who knows why bala krishna still make movies and how man got AIDS from a chimp? BTW These are some of the darkest mysteries that History & Discovery channels failed to solve!

Writing first blog is like proposing to someone for the first time(and someone doesn't include Jayalalitha, Esha Deol, Micheal jackson and the stupid security guard in front of Shoppers stop who didn't allow me to take my bike along with me for shopping inside the mall) . You are nervous, confused, scared, out-of-your-mind and all those funny feelings.But what next? I know people spend months and years together planning on how to propose and don't have a clue what to do after that. But everyone except him knows what happens next, the most scariest thing ever happened to a man - marriage!! So the point is I don't have any idea what to do after I finish this one!!

Well, in American terms I am a bit old for blogging. Usually people start blogging like at the age 5, when they have nothing much to do in life other than watching cartoons and helping their moms beat their dads. But hello! I come from the land where Chiranjeevi, Ravi teja and Rajni Kanth still go to college and girls fall like flies for them. Even in the political system of my country, this tradition of "start late" is strictly followed. If a party wins in elections, the oldest member of the party whose senses were drastically impaired and who is all set to kick the dirty plastic bucket in his backyard, would be made the Prime Minister for life. According to various stats, this would mean that a PM would enjoy a long term career of more than a week and less than two weeks. So by Indian standards I am way early.

I know all you readers, all two of you, have two questions in your mind - what the hell is this crap? and Why the hell am I reading this? I don't have any answer to the second one, and seriously no one other than your family doctor can answer that! But for the first one, I already told you, Blogs are all about writing, reading and sharing crap with all the well-wishers and wish they wont be well after reading that! And the best part is you cant stop me from writing, because of the mis-printed sentence on page 242 of the constitution about freedom of speech for nerds!

Wow, I cant believe I finished this one. I am as happy as a child who successfully burns his dads property documents thinking they are homework questions from his teacher!!

Well guys keep visiting & I promise I will try to write something which make sense in about 20 years !!